Out with the Gold, In with the New...

I've had the itch to paint the hallway bathroom.  We painted it white just before we moved in because I couldn't think about making any more decisions at the time, but that was six years ago and I'm ready to get 'er done now.  But I decided to be responsible and resolved that we would not start another new project until we had completed the projects we kind of started and haven't finished -- you know, the ones that are paid for but not done.  So with that in mind, it seemed clear to me that we had two choices for this past weekend -- we could either use the paint and trim kit we purchased over a year ago to redo the front doors, or we could hang the patio screen door that we purchased a few months ago.  Either way, you can't imagine how excited my husband was that after his grueling two weeks of summer school he was getting the opportunity to spend the weekend on home improvements -- ha!  (Really, you can't imagine -- if you can, you don't know him.)

So the front doors it would be.  Here's the before and after --

Oh, don't be fooled!  This is a DIY gone bad if ever I've had one.  Here's how it all went down...
Saturday:  We slept in and then had coffee -- which meant that we didn't get started on the door until around 9:00am.  We stripped all the hardware and trim off the doors and then started sanding.  By now it's about 11:00 and we need to stop and take showers and get dressed for a 12:00 funeral.  Nevermind that we have no hardware on our front doors and we have to leave home -- we just shoved a piece of furniture up against them on the inside and hoped that no bad guys were in the neighborhood. 
After the funeral, we had to take the trailer back to storage and while we were out, we figured we might as well grab lunch so that we could get right back to work when we got home.  So we went to Country Boy and had a leisurely lunch.  We like to go to Country Boy -- because they have magazines that we never buy (People, National Geographic, etc.)  Okay, so we get back home -- by now it's about 3:30, and I get back to sanding while the husband is measuring and cutting all the metal trim pieces.  We've been back at it for all of an hours or so, when the kids call and ask if we're ready for them to bring the grandbabies over.  Oh, that's right, we're babysitting for the evening.  Sure, bring 'em on over -- we have all weekend to finish this project.  That was the end of our work on Saturday.
Sunday:   Church til noon (still no handles/locks on the door -- just a piece of furniture pushed up against them on the inside and still hoping for no bad guys in the neighborhood), then lunch and finally it's time to get painting -- but IT'S RAINING!  Memorial Day weekend in Bakersfield and IT'S RAINING!!  Now, I was really hoping that we'd finish this project on Sunday so that we could have Monday to really relax, but things were not looking favorable.  Instead of painting, we watched the NASCAR race on TV.  By late afternoon, the rain had stopped, so I decided to paint.  (Hindsight being 20/20, this was not a wise move.) It was a little chilli out, so I plugged in the dish heater on the front porch and got to work.  Things went well for all of, oh, 30 minutes or so -- you know, til the paint started acting weird.  I have since learned that paint acts weird when it rains and you should never paint when it's raining.  Being a painting idiot, the more weird the paint acted, the more I fought it, trying with all I had to make that paint behave.  Score:  Paint - 1, Me - 0.  I retired on Sunday evening rather frustrated - for two reasons:  1) I have now decided that I do not like the color (and I have nobody to blame but myself!); and 2) It looks like a kindergartener painted the door.
Monday:  It's a new day with a new attitude!  We start by sanding the doors, looking for a fresh start.  Finally, all sanded, ready to paint again.   Things went well for all of, oh, 30 minutes or so -- you know, til the pain started acting weird - AGAIN!  And it wasn't even raining!!  And being a painting idiot, the more weird the paint acted, the more I fought it, trying with all I had to make that paint behave.  Score:  Paint - 2, Me - 0.

So now I'm really frustrated.  I hate the color more than before and the words I would use to describe how it's looking would not be found in the dictionary of nice words.  In desperation, I decide that maybe some "antiquing" would 1) help the color, and 2) cover up the bad paint job.  So I head to the hardware store and come home with a tube of mohagony rub-on stain.  With a little optimization, I start with the mohagony stain at the bottom of one door -- but within just a few minutes and only one panel, it is clear that this is going from bad to worse.  It's now starting to look like someone's craft project gone bad.  So I quickly wipe it all off and roll another coat of paint over the already horrible-looking paint job and decide it's time to stop.  But now it's Monday afternoon and I acknowledge that it's probably not wise to continue leaving home with no hardware on the door and hoping for no bad guys in the neighborhood. 

So the husband put the new hardware and trim on the door -- a fine job he did with the trim, I might add, and I promise to call my sister and get the name of her painter -- just as soon as I decide on a new color.  In the meantime, the door doesn't look bad until you get within five feet or so -- so if you plan on stopping over, save me the humiliation and please go through  the garage or around to the back.