On my way to work yesterday morning I thought about what I
would write on my blog for the day. March
20t,h - Andrew’s 31st birthday (my oldest), and we have
so much to celebrate!
But before the work day could end, things changed and now my
post for that day is different than I had planned. At
around 2:00 in the afternoon I received a text from my husband, saying that he
was in the Emergency Room with his mom. Although
it had been some time since our last trip, we’d become accustomed to the
routine; been there/done that so many times that we just take it in stride –
another trip to the ER. But yesterday’s
trip was not just another trip – yesterday was our last trip to the ER with Mom. At around 4:00 in the afternoon, her time
here on earth came to an end and she went to meet Our God. So this post will be a little tribute to my
mother-in-law, Frances Krause, and I’ll write about Andrew on another day.
“Mother-in-Law”.
Seems like there can be a lot of emotion attached to that label – and unfortunately,
it seems more popular for the emotion to be negative instead of positive, but I
was blessed with a very loving mother-in-law and enjoyed my relationship with
her.
"Mother-in-Law" they say,
and yet
Somehow I simply can't forget,
Twas you who watched his baby ways
Who taught him his first hymn of praise,
Who smiled on him with loving pride
When he first toddled by your side.
"Mother-in-Law" but oh, twas you
Who taught him to be kind and true,
When he was tired, almost asleep,
Twas to your arms he used to creep.
And when he bruised his tiny knee,
Twas you who kissed it tenderly.
"Mother-in-Law" they say and yet
Somehow I never shall forget
How very much I owe
To you, who taught him how to grow.
You trained your son to look above,
You made of him the man I Love
and so I think of that today.
Ah! Then with thankful heart I'll say
'Our Mother'.
(Author unknown)
I saw this poem hanging in a gift
shop in Solvang many years ago. In those
days there was no money in our budget for such things, but it so eloquently
described the way I felt about my mother-in-law that I stood there and jotted
it down in shorthand. The following
spring, I wrote it out in calligraphy, framed it and gifted it to Mom for
Mother’s Day. She hung it in the hallway
of their farmhouse, where it stayed until she moved to a retirement community a few
years after Dad passed away. And then
she hung it not only in her first apartment there, but the second
apartment and then again last year when she moved to an assisted care
facility. Each time I looked at this
poem hanging on her wall, the words became more meaningful.
She was a very loving mother-in-law and
we had a wonderful relationship– yet I did get a little irritated with her at
times, so maybe that’s why she hung the thing on the wall all those years –because
she knew that my husband is very much like her in many ways and I needed to be
reminded that she made of him the man I love!
My mother-in-law
didn’t marry until she was in her mid 30’s, and with marriage to J.C. Krause
came three boys (Dennis, Darrell and Don, ages 11-16) who had lost their mother
to cancer several years earlier. That’s
a brave woman, right there. About the time the youngest of those boys
became a teenager, she had her firstborn (my husband, Danny), and then five
years later, the Krause family finally celebrated the birth of a baby sister
for all those boys -- Denise!
I don’t know if it
was due to the number of children, the ages of the children, or if more likely it
was due to her age and maturity, but Mom kept a tight rein on the younger
children and limited their extracurricular activities to nothing more than boys
and girls clubs at church on Wednesday nights.
By the time he got to high school, my husband had some resentment about this
decision because he felt his lack of experience put him at a strong
disadvantage for playing high school sports.
He even carried this resentment with him into adulthood for a time, frustrated
that his softball skills were less than he would have liked. We may not know her reasons for that decision,
but I don’t think any of us can argue with, as the poem says, “You
trained your son to look above”.
I have no doubt that Frances Marie
Kopper Krause will receive a “Well done,
my good and faithful servant” for the way she raised and taught her
children. Early on I realized that my husband’s
depth of knowledge of the Bible goes beyond what you receive from merely attending
Sunday School – and I believe it’s because he had an obedient Mom who took
seriously the commands of Deuteronomy 6:
“You shall love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
6 And these words that I
command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and
shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way,
and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
I have many fond
memories of my mother-in-law and I learned many valuable lessons from her. As I write this, I’m recounting things she
taught me and blessings she bestowed on me, realizing that I need to write them
down for the sake of my children. But I’m
going to close this little tribute by sharing just a few that stand out to me most
today.
When we got our
youngest son, Michael, as a foster child, I was trying very hard to guard my
feelings because just a few months earlier we had said goodbye to 4-year-old
foster twins and the grief was almost unbearable for me. At that point I was determined to meet the
needs of this baby without becoming emotionally attached because I didn’t want
to face the same grief when it was time for him to go. After having him for a few days I took him
over to meet my mother-in-law. I was
sharing with her that he seemed very distant, empty, non-respondent. Immediately she suggested that he may be deaf
– not hearing us at all. About a week
later, after we had spent several days in the hospital for tests, her
suspicions were proven true. And when
the doctors explained that his loss of hearing was an emotional response to neglect
and abuse, my mother-in-law called me daily for the next few weeks to remind me
that she was praying for his hearing to be restored, and for me to be able to give
him the love he needed. Michael regained his hearing and I fell madly
in love with him, but she never stopped praying. She had a special place in her heart for Michael and he always considered himself one of her favorites. She was his confidant, his cheerleader, his encourager, and much of my sadness today is because I know how hard this loss will be on him.
Just a few weeks ago I sat and
listened to my husband’s end of a phone conversation with his mom. He was giving her some Scripture references and quoting some Bible verses for her, and the end of the conversation went
something like this: “Mom, I can bring
you some brochures and some literature, but you don’t need it -- you’ve got
this – you can do this – you know your stuff.
You know your Bible, Mom, don’t be nervous and don’t be intimidated,
just share from your heart the things you know.” How awesome is that? At age 89 she wanted to share Christ with her
caretakers and she didn’t need someone who had invested years of his life honing
his athletic abilities through organized sports, she needed advice and encouragement
from one she knew had spent his life learning and studying God’s Word – and
that just happened to be the boy she had so diligently taught.
With tears in my eyes, a heavy
sadness and yet an indescribable joy and peace because I know that she has
eternal life with Jesus Christ our Savior, it is with a thankful heart that
I say goodbye to 'Our Mother'...
In Loving Memory of
Frances Marie Krause
June 10, 1923 – March 20, 2013
